The Power of Harassment
Have you ever “blind walked” into someone? I used to run at night, along unlit streets. Very rarely, I’d bump into someone - a dog walker, or a commuter travelling home late. I’d startle them with my bright headtorch and they’d startle me. Mostly, because when I’m running and “in the zone” – perhaps listening to music, my eyes sort of shut down and switch to a kind of autopilot.
No one was harmed in the making of this blog but it did make me think about being seen as an surprise, unknown threat in a dark place- particularly as a man, appearing as a threat- perhaps to to a women on her own.
I know there are plenty of women who are more than capable of managing a harassing eejit. (I’m related, and know a large number of them). I think it is important particularly for men to recognise that they may inadvertently present themselves as a threat to women- they genuinely (and perhaps stupidly) may not know this. In my vision of a fair society, a women (or anyone in fact) should be able to feel at ease when walking home alone in the dark. I think of my wife, my mother or my sisters. Here is some practical advice that I found from various sources intended to educate on this:
Harassment is any unwelcome or offensive behaviour that creates a hostile, intimidating, or degrading environment for someone. It can be verbal, non-verbal, physical, or sexual. Harassment is wrong because it violates the dignity and rights of the person who is being harassed. It can also have negative effects on their mental and physical health, such as stress, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and trauma.
Respect personal space and boundaries. Don’t follow, harass, or touch women without their consent. If you see a woman looking uncomfortable or scared, back off and leave her alone.
Be friendly and polite to women you meet on the street. Smile, say hello, and make eye contact. Don’t stare, make comments, or ask for personal information. If a woman rejects your advances or tells you to leave her alone, accept it and quickly move on.
Support women who are walking alone at night. Offer to walk with them if they want company, but don’t insist if they decline. If they accept your offer, stay close and alert to any signs of trouble. If they reject your offer, respect their decision and wish them well.
Challenge the culture of misogyny and sexism that contributes to women feeling unsafe. Speak up against any inappropriate behaviour or jokes that you hear from other men or in the media. Educate yourself and others about what harassment is and why it is wrong.
Men can educate themselves and others about what harassment is and why it is wrong by:
Learning about the different types of harassment and how to recognize them. For example, some common forms of harassment are catcalling, groping, whistling, staring, making sexist jokes or comments, sending unwanted messages or pictures, and threatening or assaulting someone.
Challenging the stereotypes and norms that justify or tolerate harassment. For example, some men may think that they have the right to harass women because they are attracted to them or because they are being playful or friendly. They may also think that women should dress provocatively or behave in certain ways to avoid harassment.
Speaking up against harassment when they witness it or experience it themselves. For example, if someone sees a woman being harassed on the street or at work, they can intervene by telling the harasser to stop, calling for help, reporting the incident to the authorities, or supporting the victim.
Supporting women who are victims of harassment and listening to their stories. For example, if a woman tells them about an incident of harassment that she faced recently, they can show empathy and compassion by validating her feelings, asking her how she is doing now, offering her assistance if needed, and encouraging her to seek professional help if necessary.
Educating other men about how their actions and attitudes affect women’s safety and well-being. For example, they can share information about the prevalence and impact of harassment on women’s lives, discuss how their own experiences with harassment have shaped their views on gender equality, and invite other men to join them in taking action against harassment.
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